I Should Admit This' Just Another Piece Of Crap

source

So here I am again, wakeful. I have been thinking about something lately, which is the reason why I am wide-awake every night.

Before, I was sitting in front of my laptop, my fingers rested on every letter. I wanted to write. I wanted to create just one brilliant story. But I couldn’t. I didn’t make any sense. My head was filled. What filled my head I did not know. The fear of writing again was the interruption. Once I hold a pen in my right hand and blankly stare at blank pages, I become intimidated. I am afraid that when I start writing I would discover that I do not have anything to write. Again, I did not make sense. It is funny to see that I write under circumstances like these. When I am not forced or where I am not surrounded by eventful activities or in this case, when I have nothing to write at all.

But in fact, I keep on writing and writing, shaping one word after one word, figuring what story I would come up with at the end. Nothing. Yet.

It’s actually not that I don’t have anything to write. Instead, it's actually because I have become excess with enormous quantity of words which now conquering my peanut-sized brain so I couldn’t write anything properly in this sheet at this very moment. But I guess I will force my brain to work pretty harder so I could write anything I should write down here.

Oh man. I don’t even know if my grammar is practically correct or not.

Have I triggered a pain inside your head?

Well, here. I have two major things bothering my mind quite a lot these days. First, it’s about my departure to Yogyakarta in only 4 days ahead. Why does it bother me? Because, first, the circumstance will force me to live alone in there, in my dormitory. While me, ever since I born, never actually living alone without my parents by my side. And leaving my parents that way is kind of making me frustrated. Moreover the Ramadhan month is coming even closer! I can’t cook! I can’t wake up early in the middle of the night to eat sahur! I can’t control my life the way my mom used to control it to me! I would just mess it up and my Ramadhan month would be pretty sucks. I don’t have any idea how to manage myself during the coming up living-alone life.

Okay. I have elaborated it quite structured, haven’t I? At least I've made you catch up my point, no? Err... Whatever.

Second thing, it’s about my idiot love flick! I got two major stories of all. First off, something about my “best crush” which I lately reveal pretty much obvious in Tumblr. But soooo sorry I wouldn’t share you guys the url up here. It’s way too private. Second off, something about my “best brother” which I had written in Tumblr pretty much clear—and long—as well. So, I won’t spend more time talking about the two of it in here.

See? This is nonsense. Then why in the world you start to write, Put? I do not know.

Ah… These eyes have got blurred. My head aches but I don’t feel sleepy at all. I guess I will be wide-awake for the rest of the night... But the post is quite long enough so I will just post it on and…. Poof. I’m gone.

Honey, I've told you. This is just another piece of crap and I didn't make any sense. Why did you start reading?

Dear Accelers...

This heart always aches whenever I heard the words of goodbye.

Each and everyone of us is leaving
and it hurts since I would be the last one to leave.
Oh dear,
You know I'm nothing without you.
And yes, I've missed you.

Too Sad To Even Think of A Title

Hermione : How does it feel, Harry? When you see Dean with Ginny?
Harry : [slightly taken aback] Oh. Um...
Hermione : I know. I've seen the way you look at her. You're my best friend.
[Ron bursts in with Lavender, laughing, then sobers when he sees Hermione and Harry]
Lavender : Oops!... I think this room's taken.
[runs off]
Ron : [awkwardly] ... What's with the birds?
Hermione : [Stands, glares at Ron] Oppugno!
[Hermione's flock of birds fly at Ron, who flees the room. Hermione sinks next to Harry and breaks down crying]
Harry : It feels like this.

- Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Does it hurt too, Harry? Because for me, yes it does hurt.

Is sad,

When

How do you know when you’re in love with someone? Is it when he’s the first thing that comes into your mind when you wake up and the last thing that you think of before you go to sleep? Or is it when your heart melts every time he looks into your eyes? The truth is, the signs come in a thousand different ways.

When you’re having a really bad day and hearing his voice on the phone just makes it all go away. When all you want to do is listen to him talk passionately about his plans for the future. When you would sacrifice your shopping time just to cheer him up on the field. When a mention of his name makes you miss him so much. When all you want to do is staying up and taking care of him when he’s sick. When your face glows every time you meet him. When even the way he laughs and eats and sleeps fascinate you. When you realize you can finish each other’s sentences. When you can recognize his perfume from miles away. When you laugh when he laughs. When you love seeing the reflection of yourself in his eyes. When you can’t stop smiling every time people talk about the two of you. When you remember him in your prayer. When you feel that he’s the only one who can understand you. When everything that makes him happy will make you happy, no matter how hurtful it is inside. When you’re often torn between your own egocentricity and your feelings for him. When really you’re mad at him but all you want to do is cry on his shoulder. When you can’t help glancing at him every other second as you’re both in the car and he’s seriously watching the traffic. When you actually enjoy the moment when he’s teasing you eventhough you’re pissed. When you dreams of yourself being married to him with kids. When you want to be the woman who makes him coffee and puts on his tie every morning. When you’re seriously reconsidering the relocation because it means leaving him as you move to another country. When you find his boyish whining attitude is endearing. When you find his snoring endearing. When you have your own nickname for him. When every time his name pops up in your inbox you smile. When you gladly wipes his sweat as he changes your flat tire. When you find his singing entertaining eventhough he can’t carry a tune. When you forget when was the last time his name doesn’t cross your mind. When you can remember perfectly the sound of his funny laugh, his fake laugh, and his amused laugh. When he’s the only face you want to be on your 500 bucks Anya Hindmarch be-a-bag. When you would stay awake just to watch him sleep. When you’re seriously thinking of getting a tattoo of his name on your left. When he makes you happy and makes you cry at the same time. When you want him to always be your ‘imam’ when you’re praying. When you’re glad that you can be helpless sometimes because it means you can rely on his strong arms to help you. When being with him makes you want to be a better person. When everything could go wrong in the world and it’s okay, because he’s there, with you.

- as written on Ika Natassa's Tumblr.

Bold what you feel and lemme know if you post it later on. :)

Much love,

BJ Habibie’s Poetry

Sebenarnya ini bukan tentang kematianmu, bukan itu.

Karena, aku tahu bahwa semua yang ada pasti menjadi tiada pada akhirnya,

dan kematian adalah sesuatu yang pasti,

dan kali ini adalah giliranmu untuk pergi, aku sangat tahu itu.

Tapi yang membuatku tersentak sedemikian hebat,

adalah kenyataan bahwa kematian benar-benar dapat memutuskan kebahagiaan dalam diri seseorang, sekejap saja, lalu rasanya mampu membuatku menjadi nelangsa setengah mati, hatiku seperti tak di tempatnya, dan tubuhku serasa kosong melompong, hilang isi.

Kau tahu sayang, rasanya seperti angin yang tiba-tiba hilang berganti kemarau gersang.

Pada airmata yang jatuh kali ini, aku selipkan salam perpisahan panjang,

pada kesetiaan yang telah kau ukir, pada kenangan pahit manis selama kau ada,

aku bukan hendak mengeluh, tapi rasanya terlalu sebentar kau disini.

Mereka mengira aku lah kekasih yang baik bagimu sayang,

tanpa mereka sadari, bahwa kaulah yang menjadikan aku kekasih yang baik.

mana mungkin aku setia padahal memang kecenderunganku adalah mendua, tapi kau ajarkan aku kesetiaan, sehingga aku setia, kau ajarkan aku arti cinta, sehingga aku mampu mencintaimu seperti ini.

Selamat jalan,

Kau dari-Nya, dan kembali pada-Nya,

kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada.

selamat jalan sayang,

cahaya mataku, penyejuk jiwaku,

selamat jalan,

calon bidadari surgaku …

- BJ.HABIBIE

-Reposted from Teppy

If everyone could love endlessly like Bapak Habibie does, I believe this world will be a better, much better place to live. I do adore you, Bapak. My deepest condolence.

Is now crying,

Aku Ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada..

-Sapardi Djoko Damono

P.S. Sudah berkali-kali membaca sajak ini, dan tidak pernah merasa bosan. :)

Einstein

It's true.

(belated) New Year Thoughts

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friends or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take lots of pictures, laugh a lot, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend in need, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, LIVE IN THE MOMENT because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back… Happy new year!

- A best friend texted me this last night. Thank you for reminding me that it’s not the breaths I take that I have to worry about, it’s how I breathe.

- Reblogged from A Piece of My Mind.

PS. Ya, Ika wrote it on the last night of 2009 anyway. Sorry for being so uncreative these days.

But I feel inspired, indeed :)

Think Before Saying

One thing I learn during my almost-two-years time in Acceleration class: Think first before you say anything. COMPLETELY anything, be it nice or not.

Well, it seems that not everyone is pleased with what you say. Perhaps you didn’t mean anything bad in your words, but you should put yourself in others’ shoes. Do you think they will take it the same way you expect them to?

Ya, that is it.

I, personally, never think that much before saying anything. Not even thrice; not even twice. It's like my mouth is ungated, out of control. There's ever one situation where I was so mad about one thing (you shouldn't know). And a friend, T, apologized to me for what he did. Well, he didn't actually make some big problems or what, but I was just really, really mad that time that I didn't even know I could scold at him like that. T was shocked. But I was not. I was mad, remember? And my mouth is out of control. As usual.

During the next one week, T didn't greet me at school. Like, AT ALL. Nope. No hello, no messages, and even no "Could you solve this one?" at Math class like we ALWAYS used to be. And at that time, I didn't really care.

Until few days later passed by, I finally felt awkward with him. I texted him and asked "What is wrong with us?" and as I remember, he only answered, "Nothing much, put." And I decided not to reply back. I'm an ego. It's hard for me to wave the white flag first. If I didn't think I've made a mistake, why should I feel sorry? And oh goodness, who he thinks he is! Ya. That is, what on my thought feeeeww months ago, before I start growing mature. Well, that time, the common sense it is which helped me to get through the awkward moment and attempted to be the bestfriend of him again. So as I remember, I apologized to him. Via SMS. I know, I'm a fucked-up little chicken.

And fortunately, he forgave me. Is it right, T? :)

But then, there's one day, Friday if I'm not mistaken, where me and my acceleration fellas, gathering in a circle, sat, and played "Just tell the truth!". LOL. And it is, if I'm not mistaken again, two days before the National Exam started. Almost-two-years trapped in a class together, shared the same feeling of frustated and depressed because of the hectic schedule of subjects, of course huge enough to make us feel senasib-sepenanggungan. We're almost like a family. :) Ah ya, back to the topic. Well, that time, we played the game, kind of Truth or Dare but it is only Truth or... Truth. hahaha. The turn was decided with whirling the bottle of Aqua or something. And one by one, we shared our own truth. Who are the persons we hate, who are the persons we thank a lot, what is our feeling about something, et cetera.

Until it was T's turn to play.

I still remember, very clearly, about everything he said. Begini kurang lebih, "Gue ngerasa seneng banget di aksel... Di sini gue belajar banyak... bla bla bla... Gue sendiri orangnya sering memandang rendah orang lain, gue akuin itu, bla bla bla... Tapi di samping itu, sebenernya ada satu orang yg gue kurang suka sikapnya belakangan ini. Yaitu Putri. Kenapa putri? Karena dia ngomongnya suka ceplas-ceplos. Gue sendiri pernah ngalamin. Waktu itu begini begini, terus pas gue sms baik-baik, dia responnya malah nggak enak.. Jujur gue orangnya ga gampang untuk dibentak-bentak seperti itu. bla bla bla....."

Jujur ya. Sangat menohok. The words left me breathless. And when T stared at me, I only smiled and murmured, "Sorry..". Err what we call it? Senyum miris? I couldn't think righteously. The words is inevitably right. But I couldn't accept it; my ego couldn't. But then goes to another person turns, Sarah, Inten, Dessy, Happy, Fadhlia, Dwika. They all said the same thing like T just said before. "Put, lo tuh ceplas-ceplos. Kadang suka nyakitin hati. Gue tau lo pinter, tapi ga usah lah ditunjukkin. Bikin sakit hati." Even Fadhlia said, "Ada suatu saat yang gue sampe nangis di rumah gara2 kepikiran omongan lo Put."

And that. That time. I finally cried. Not sobbing anyways, only a little cry, cause my heart cried muuuch much louder. I feel like losing some friends. And I, after all, could put myself in others' shoes. I feel hurt. I must have been feeling hurt if I were them. And then the game was at last finished. We ended it up with hugging each other. Saying sorry to each other. And still on the circle, we put our hands together, and yelled, "GO AKSEL GO AKSEL GO!" (hahaha iya gue tau kok, ga kreatif banget kan?)

And I also apologized to Fadhlia, Dwika, Sarah, and all the people I hurt on the past. Oh, also to T! I apologized to him like in gazillion times! LOL. And you know what? The sentences of them forgiving me, that time, is such a releasing pain-killer. It's like the feeling you got right after Lebaran passed, only this one is much much much more releasing. I feel blessed. I feel welcomed again.

And about the T... Well, if you read this, I just wanna say sorry once again. You gave me a great lesson of life. You teached me how to down to Earth even when you are the most clever person in the world. You teached me how to choose the priority and solve only the most urgent things to solve. I don't know, but if it's not because of you and O, I wouldn't be this mature right know. Well, okay, I'm not that mature, but at least I'm not that childish anymore. I don't annoy people like I always used to do.. (or I still do?) hehe

Acceleration Family, 2008-2010, is such a special gift God gives to me. I learn a lot there, a lot more than just educational stuffs. I met cool people, which now mostly I became close friends with. hehe. But most of all, I can be me there. I can be the one I really am. Because you guys always welcome me, no matter how freak I am. heheh we're all freak, aren't we? :p

So this is it. I gotta take a bath. And I'm as hungry as pumpkin, oh goodness! (padahal tadi baru makan kebab) --"

Feel blessed,

Insecure

Have you ever felt so insecure about yourself? Like, whatever you do, you just don’t feel comfortable about it?

Well, I have, and as matter of fact, I still do. Everytime I finish on something, I always think “Is that okay? Will people think it’s okay?”. Everytime I go out, I always look at other people’s eyes. Are they staring at me with pondering looks? Do I fit perfectly among my groups? And despite all the bitchiness I wrote here on my blog about how I don’t care with people’s words, I’m not that serious. I do still care. And you’ll never hear me talking that bold in real life. You would see me as a complete introverts when you meet me for the first time. I only get loud when I’m surrounded by those I knew and I feel comfortable to be, and that’s a very rare thing to see.

Feeling insecure isn’t good. It makes you always want to appear right in front of other people. It makes you put thick mask or makeups on your faces so that they can accept you. It makes you lie about yourself to people, putting all your natural you behind.

If I look back to know where this insecure feelings come from, I guess it must’ve been my childhood. I was completely different (and still am) at that time. And being different among those ‘intolerant’ environment just made it worst. I struggled my way to be ‘acceptable’. But as I said before, it’s all about makeups. It makes you feel good, but in the end, you have no choice but to clean it up, leaving your natural look uncovered.

And now, I’m being totally confused. I met many different people these years. How do I know which mask I should put on so that I’ll get a warm welcome? What if I took the wrong one? What if, even with the right one, it still didn’t feel right? If I didn’t feel good wearing those masks, why should I bother to?

I remembered reading an entry by Fanny couple of days ago. She didn’t pretty much like the way she had changed right now. I asked myself, how about me? Will I still be able to look back to see whether I liked my new me? I’ve been putting all these masks for like, all my life. And to decide which ‘me’ I really like is almost impossible, as right at this moment, I have forgotten who I used to be and who I really am.

I wonder what people (and I mean all people I know) would think if they know the man behind these makeups. Will I still get a place among them? Hmm.. a question which is hard to answer. More like scientific quest where the answer will always be given after you perform the experiment.

So, in regards of stepping out of these masks one by one, I wrote this entry with a hope that someday I could show my real me.

--Reblogged from Aulia Tegar

Food Porn, OMG!

Merlin's pants!!! Am craving for all of these things! Oooohhhh really hope I could get 'em now! And I mean it; NOW! grrrhhh.... (can't hold any patient)

all pictures taken from deviantart.com; but sorry again, i've been forgotten to save the specific links. pardon me... :(

P.S. Am getting ready for Physics Test tomorrow. Well, gotta study harder now! 

Bye for now, folks! ;)

xoxo,

I'm crazy about...

ALL OF THESE CUTE LITTLE PETS!

Aaaaaaahhhh... How I miss my Chiro (the white cat), and Pocky and Rocky (the hamsters)! They've died already. huhuhu ;(

Ohh GOSH! Look at their eyes! Pure and bright... aaaahh... they're just darn cute! Miss 'em really!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, maybe I should get a bunny someday. hehehe :D

all pics are taken from deviantart.com, sorry for not giving the certain URL. :)

P.S. I'll have a math test tomorrow. Gotta go study now! CIAO!

xoxo,

Did ya know?

source

There was a study done where a control group of 100 people were divided into two.

50 people watched very funny, tears-of laughter type movie.
50 watched a very sad and tears of compassion type movie.
At the end of the sessions researchers collected the "happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eye droppers.

They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine, salt water and not a great deal else.
However the "sad tears" were found to contain the very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sicknesses through out the body.

This test concluded that the body, when crying in sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the sadness/heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit themselves and prolonged lack-of-crying-release will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should have been released through the tears.
Is it any wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back our tears?

No wonder men die earlier than women.

Cry your heart out when you are sad, lonely, alone, depressed,and any other not-so-good emotion. It's good for your health, apparently.

(Reposted from here,

thanks for the info, dear nunu.. :) )

xoxo,

Eternal Love, Is It For Real?

image source

It kinda funny how love works so fast. 

Such like love at first sight. Has it come to you, peeps? 

Hmm, well, for me myself, yes it has. No no no, I mean, it doesn’t work. I thought it's a love at first, but at the end, I realized, it was not. I only admired him, but I didn’t love him at all. So, what they called love at first sight, is totally wrong for me. It is not love, it is passion. 

But at this moment, I’m not gonna tell you about that, I’m gonna tell you about how love could lasting forever—or at least, for very long time. Unremitting. But hey fellas, one you should know is, it rarely happens. Only one in a thousand....

But for sure, guys, a gentleman in my life, have that kind of love.

And ridiculously, that eternal love is meant for me. 

For the sake of tartar sauce! What is so special about Putri Erdisa Januarti? Whose name is not even recognized by the president, whose name is not even recognized by the headmaster in her school! What is so special about me?

And, oh my gosh, please do forgive my mistake… I ignored his love. 

I don’t know what happened to me, but I don’t have any feeling with him! I can't, even if I tried to. It seems like we’re made to be friends, not to be a lovemate or whatever. It is weird how a person, who loves me sincerely, can’t get my own love in return! It seems like… love is unfair. Very unfair.

Ah, I don’t know. I feel so guilty right now. It hurts, fellas, it really hurts to hurt a close friend; he is a real chum of mine! Okay you might ask me like this,

“So why, Putri, if you feel guilty on him, why don’t you just accept him as your boyfriend? You should be having a special feeling with him even if it’s so tiny!”

Well, the answer for the question is: I don’t have any special feeling on him. Not even a tiny one. So, if I did accept him, but in fact I have no feeling on him, it would be so much more unfair for him, right? Settle down with a person who just pretending to love the mate, is absolutely a misery! 

Oh sucks! I hate being into such situation like this! I mean, do I have any choice? No. The only choice is “no”.

But it really, really hurts to ignore a person who loves me eternally. Endlessly.

(fyi, he has loving me about 2 years!! Cool, uh?)

But then, at the end, I don’t know what I should do now. Maybe it’s proper if I just let him still for awhile. I don’t know. I totally am a newbie for these stuffs. 

So, is there any suggestion, chums? I really need it.

This post is dedicated to the gentleman who has give me that eternal love, R,

you know ka? i will never forget you,

Short Updates.

Heeeyy do you know what the real function of blog is?

Well, is it just me or do some people really miss the real function itself? 

I mean, wow, they write nothing.

I mean... oh okay, I couldn't explain it clearly. do you get my point, peeps? oh well, sure no, eh?

I'm a very bad explainer. 

*

Anyways, I'll get my last exam on the next monday. A full week! Oh my gosh!

Please do pray for me, fellas. huhuhu ;(

And no, I won't make it as a-week-hiatus. I keep on blogging.

:)

okay then, this is putri over and out.

CIAO!

Hai, Miiko! :D

I love reading. 

Book, any kind of it, is just like air for my mind. I’ll really do suffer if I don’t read at least a book in a week. And no, it shouldn’t the new ones; I’m okay with reading the last-year book, because sometimes we can just figure some new things out on ‘em.

Anyways, talking about book, my fav is comic indeed. I love to see the pictures, how it sketched well, how it plotted well, how the dialogue balloons fulfill the page, wow, I love them all! And no, actually dear, it does not hinder your imagination. Some people said so, but not on my thought. Hey! If you are accustomed to see the pictures, the sketches from comics, which is different one another (absolutely!), you will easily start to figure what it looks like if someone describe a thing or place to you. 

Okay, it sounds weird now. I don’t even know what I am talking about.

Anyways, actually at first I typed this post to describe a fav comic of mine, Hai, Miiko!, but heeeyy I was talking too much on the opening. Errgh… one of my lacks.

picture source

Ah ya, Hai, Miiko! It’s an every-age comic, for sure. The content is sooo sooooo worthy to read. Story about a 5th grader girl named Yamada Miiko who lives in mansion with her parents and her little brother named Yamada Mamoru. She also has some friends, but the closest ones are Ogawa Yuuko (Yuuko) and Shimura Mari (Mari-chan). She has a special feeling with Tappei (Eguchi Tappei) that she doesn’t even realize, and how blissfully, Tappei has too. Aw! They’re too sweet! And just like another story of a 5th grader students (lol), they always try to pretend that they dont love each other! While actually they really do! ahahhaah.

So here I show you a dialogue of them while they’re on Miss Donut Store. (f rom 19th edition) 

– Eh, so sorry anyway, I decide not to translate it to English. Sorry yaa.. :)

Miiko    : Waktu Tappei datang, aku senang sekali. Makasih ya…

Tappei  : (blushing) …. Waktu kau nelepon…

Miiko: Ya?

Tappei: Adikku nggak lahir-lahir! Aku takut sendirian! Tolong, Tappei! Huhuhu… (teasing her).  Berisik banget!

Miiko    : (screaming) Aku nggak ngomong begitu, kok!

Tappei : Iya, tapi kedengaran begitu di kupingku.

Miiko    : (blushing..)

Oh My Gosh! How could be sweeter than that? xD

Anyways, yep, as you catch in the dialogue above, Miiko has just got a little sister. Euhh… and she’s the cutest of all! 

Hmm… well, you’ll not know why I’m so crazy about Miiko till you read it yourself, peeps. 

So, there you go to the nearest bookstore and buy any series of Hai, Miiko! you could find there. *tee-hee*

Believe me, you won’t sorry at all. ;)

Just another craps!

picture source

Wow, such great pic, eh? It's made by Ethe, a veeery talented young girl. Well, just read Gogirl! May edition to know more about her. I post this not to describe her, actually. 

:)

Guys, you know what? I wanna tell you this! I've taken the speech competition I had tell you on my last post. and now... i feel so scared. i'm afraid of being lose. sigh... ;(

***

ah ya, i got an award times ago. here it is, 

Thanks Cilla.

I reward it for all bloggers in my "awesome people" section. hihi. And for all of you who want to take it, please dont be hesitate. suppose it as a gratitude from me because you have read my blog. hihi

;)

**

Anyways, Irfan, my super naughty classmate, sang Lucky by Jason Mraz just today, and because he sat right beside me, so I sang together with him.

And so i think... wow, it would be soooooooooo romantic to sing that lovely song with him together on. Well, he's a vocalist after all. hehe.

I'm terribly in love with the fling, folks. ooohhh help me! I'd like to love, but I'd not like to falling. huhu.. :(

is afraid,

Broken Wings

Wow. The vote is already filled by ONLY 19 persons, and… do you wanna know what the result is? Same number for whole points (except the last one)! EQUAL RESULT EXACTLY! Heeeyy… what’s happening? You want it all more from me—my blog? How could it be? I’m not as creative as you thought! Ahahaha.

Anyways, switch to another topic, I’ve been offered with my cutie fella, Rainy, to follow an English competition in UPI Bandung. And I’ve been chosen to go through speech contest—which is my best from debate, story telling, and news reading.

Well. I’m not that confident actually. I’m totally a newbie. A stupid little 15 years old girl who had just flirts on a most wanted guy in her school. She is her daddy’s feeble angel. She is only a little girl with her trembling decides. She is me, myself.

Okay, stop talking about it.

Anyways, do you know what? I think those it-anonymous who have ever said that I couldn’t speak English properly, was right. And I mean it that way. D'uh.. I don’t have any idea what could it go to my mind, but… I’ve been soooo sooooo pessimistic nowadays. I’ve been thinking negatively so much these times, such as, “hey! I’m nothing than her!”, “hey she’s so much more beautiful than me!” or, “heeeyy I couldn’t talk English as fluent as she does!”

Well, I’m like an angel with broken wings. Couldn’t do anything but cry.

I’m like a … 5-years-old girl who just got into an elementary school and does not have any courage to greet others. I am weak. And well, thinking about all of them, and declare it on my blog, made me think worse. I think... I am a loser. In this narrow thought of mine, at least.

P.S. forgive me for post this inexplicable thing, fellas. I am weird, am I? *lol*

P.P.S so that's why i put the beautiful picture above. I'm feeling like I'm falling right now. Just like angel with broken wings. 

 picture source

10 things! (oh whatever)

Afternoon, buddies. :)

Wow, it’s been awhile since my last post about the hotty fling, and now… err I don’t know. I don’t really know what I am goin to talk about actually.

But perhaps I’ll tell you some newest things happened to me in recent times. And well, some of the point is about that scarily-hotty-fling! Yayzee!

1. Me and the it-fling have been in contact for almost a week, and there is no progress between us. No progress. Note it! Almost a week and no progress. How sucks!

2. He’s a player. Okay okay, he’s challenging—one of my types. But for the sake of tartar sauce! It sucks to see him around with some different girls! Damn! (oh my Gosh, forgive my cusses dear readers! I’m mad!)

3. I ate 4 packs of choco-banana Pocky; and now I felt like I will excrete ‘em with… oh okay, it may be better if I don’t tell ya the continuation of the sentence above. :p

4. I’ve made much copy of “NO SMOKING” prohibition in my home sweet home! And of course… those all are aiming to my Daddy, who is a heavy smoker currently! So Dad, if you read this post, please stop smoking by now and please do appreciate your children’s effort to make you stay healthy, will you?

5. I and my group have a task to make a short movie of gravitation experiment (such another fiddlesticks of physic lesson), and I am, hopelessly… the leader of the group. (well okay okay, I tryna stop cussing but this is absolutely irksome! HECK!

6. I am exhausted.. by those fuckin tasks and exams. Well, period.

7. I turned into a crybaby asshole lately. Cried my eyes out every night, ieeuuhh… what a shame!  

8. I’m being crazy with photoshop! Well, I know I am definitely a stupid newbie on it, but heeeyy editing photos is absolutely fun, peeps, don’t you know? *lol*

Here’s my fruitless result of the edit. *tee-hee

(click to see it clearer, pals)

9. And lastly… I hate that my blog is goin so corny by minute! Hey guys, do you feel bored with this blog? Because if you say yes, I’d love to end these all up. He-he.

10. Oh oh, one more point! I’ve made a poll on the sidebar! Please pop it on the right point that you want, because I do not approve any lies. Hohohohoho.

Love y’all guys. 

Ciao!

Current feeling ;)

Love For A Child

Love For A Child - Jason Mraz

**

Currently my fav song. :)

Love For A Child - Jason Mraz

There's a picture on my kitchen wall
Looks like Jesus and his friends involved
There's a party getting started in the yard
There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive
Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently
The chemicals weren't mixed properly
You hit your head and then forgot your name
And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain
And now your altitude and memory's a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles
Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass
Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around
Well I'm far too old to care about that now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

It was all about love...

*

well. it's sweet, uh? ;)