Broken Wings

Wow. The vote is already filled by ONLY 19 persons, and… do you wanna know what the result is? Same number for whole points (except the last one)! EQUAL RESULT EXACTLY! Heeeyy… what’s happening? You want it all more from me—my blog? How could it be? I’m not as creative as you thought! Ahahaha.

Anyways, switch to another topic, I’ve been offered with my cutie fella, Rainy, to follow an English competition in UPI Bandung. And I’ve been chosen to go through speech contest—which is my best from debate, story telling, and news reading.

Well. I’m not that confident actually. I’m totally a newbie. A stupid little 15 years old girl who had just flirts on a most wanted guy in her school. She is her daddy’s feeble angel. She is only a little girl with her trembling decides. She is me, myself.

Okay, stop talking about it.

Anyways, do you know what? I think those it-anonymous who have ever said that I couldn’t speak English properly, was right. And I mean it that way. D'uh.. I don’t have any idea what could it go to my mind, but… I’ve been soooo sooooo pessimistic nowadays. I’ve been thinking negatively so much these times, such as, “hey! I’m nothing than her!”, “hey she’s so much more beautiful than me!” or, “heeeyy I couldn’t talk English as fluent as she does!”

Well, I’m like an angel with broken wings. Couldn’t do anything but cry.

I’m like a … 5-years-old girl who just got into an elementary school and does not have any courage to greet others. I am weak. And well, thinking about all of them, and declare it on my blog, made me think worse. I think... I am a loser. In this narrow thought of mine, at least.

P.S. forgive me for post this inexplicable thing, fellas. I am weird, am I? *lol*

P.P.S so that's why i put the beautiful picture above. I'm feeling like I'm falling right now. Just like angel with broken wings. 

 picture source

New Layout, fellas! :D

Hey! What's up, folks? :D

eeeeh, do you realize some changing in my blog? 

Come on! think over it! One.. two.. three... and, the answer is?

yayzee! you're absolutely right, pals! I've just changed my blog layout! yeah! xD

well, I just felt that the old layout of mine is too girly and too crowd! and besides... one of my visitors told me that her layout is the same as mine!

what the heck!

Well, okay, I know, the layout is gotten from a popular blogskins source and of course, every people who wants to use the same layout as mine exactly may to use it… But so far I blogged, there’s no any blogger who used the same layout, but immediately one day… tadadam tadaaamm.. a person texted in my chatbox like this,

“hey… we have the same layout!” (Thunder sounds effect!)

O-okay. I knocked down! 

Hence I asked kak Cassey from The Blog of Casseybunn, how to have stretch layout as she has, later she replied, and… here I come with this one! *hihi*

thanks a bunch kak Cass… you’re such the most awesome blogger I have ever find! x)

Ah ya. And because I changed the whole layout, so it means I have to change my header too. Okay, I’m totally brainstorming in this part. I couldn't catch any interesting idea. So I prefer to make it as simple as it is above! *lol* Ah, but, do you have any idea to make it cool, pals? I know you guys are such creative persons that I would love to accept every your advices. ;D

Hmm... So that's it for today. Cheerio, folks! :D

P.S I'm addicted with the original chocolate Pocky, Rizqi bought me that just today. *tee-hee* (sering2 aja kak beliin ade pocky! wkwk.)

P.P.S I want to share one pic of me and my looooovely fellas. here it is.

rifa, etin, happy, me, dessy, sarah, fadhlia, inten, annisa, helmi, farah, and uthe. ;D

(from left to right, up to down)

10 things! (oh whatever)

Afternoon, buddies. :)

Wow, it’s been awhile since my last post about the hotty fling, and now… err I don’t know. I don’t really know what I am goin to talk about actually.

But perhaps I’ll tell you some newest things happened to me in recent times. And well, some of the point is about that scarily-hotty-fling! Yayzee!

1. Me and the it-fling have been in contact for almost a week, and there is no progress between us. No progress. Note it! Almost a week and no progress. How sucks!

2. He’s a player. Okay okay, he’s challenging—one of my types. But for the sake of tartar sauce! It sucks to see him around with some different girls! Damn! (oh my Gosh, forgive my cusses dear readers! I’m mad!)

3. I ate 4 packs of choco-banana Pocky; and now I felt like I will excrete ‘em with… oh okay, it may be better if I don’t tell ya the continuation of the sentence above. :p

4. I’ve made much copy of “NO SMOKING” prohibition in my home sweet home! And of course… those all are aiming to my Daddy, who is a heavy smoker currently! So Dad, if you read this post, please stop smoking by now and please do appreciate your children’s effort to make you stay healthy, will you?

5. I and my group have a task to make a short movie of gravitation experiment (such another fiddlesticks of physic lesson), and I am, hopelessly… the leader of the group. (well okay okay, I tryna stop cussing but this is absolutely irksome! HECK!

6. I am exhausted.. by those fuckin tasks and exams. Well, period.

7. I turned into a crybaby asshole lately. Cried my eyes out every night, ieeuuhh… what a shame!  

8. I’m being crazy with photoshop! Well, I know I am definitely a stupid newbie on it, but heeeyy editing photos is absolutely fun, peeps, don’t you know? *lol*

Here’s my fruitless result of the edit. *tee-hee

(click to see it clearer, pals)

9. And lastly… I hate that my blog is goin so corny by minute! Hey guys, do you feel bored with this blog? Because if you say yes, I’d love to end these all up. He-he.

10. Oh oh, one more point! I’ve made a poll on the sidebar! Please pop it on the right point that you want, because I do not approve any lies. Hohohohoho.

Love y’all guys. 

Ciao!

Current feeling ;)

New Fling!!!

Howdy folks!

Wow. So sorry for my lack of—serious—blogging. I’ve been overwhelmed by some unimportant school stuffs. Physics short movie, journey report, math test (oh my goodness, I hate math!—period), chemistry test, yada yada yada. How could I blog with those shitty things that could exactly trap me in school all day long, ha?!

Oh, sorry. I’m being nuts. 

Anyways, guys, I want to share you one thing. Hmm… actually this is a top secret—currently, but I don’t care. You are all my besties, nothing’s wrong with telling you some of my personal stuffs. *tee-hee*

Okay, here’s the legendary top secret… (drumroll, please..)

I have a new fling! Yaaaayy!! xD

Okay, okay. That’s so not important for you, I know, dude. But hey! It’s terribly important for me! Ha-ha.

“Eh, who is that unlucky guy, Put, by the way?”

“That's the must untold thing, buddy! But he’s a handsome guy, for sure.” x)

Awwwwwwwww!!! Yeah, he’s scarily handsome! I don’t know whether he’s smart or stupid, careless or care, poor or rich, I don’t know. I just know that he’s handsome (oh my… thinkin of him makes me melting!), he's also a playboy, and good at singing! Ah, have I said that he’s playboy? Yep! He is. Well, at least based on my girl friends reviews! Hahaha.

Okay. Be calm, Putri, control yourself. *lol.

Well, furthermore, actually I have been messaging with me for about 3 days. Yay! And talking about his reaction, well... I dont know. He's care, sweet, but sometimes he's not. This is the 4th day and he didn't even reply my messages. *sigh* what happens with him actually, uh? I really do want to know. Does he... play me? Oh sucks! I don't wanna think of it!

Hmm... so this is it! My another unserious post! *lol*

Smell ya later, peeps. Muah!

Awards, dan permintaan maaf

I've been recently tagged in some awards. and, well.. here goes. (hehe, got 5 in two days, my best record so far! ;P )

from Cilla..

from Clodd..

from Karin..

from Risyaa.. :)

from Soza..

Thanks guys! kalian baik sekali.. hihi x)

Ah ya, anyway, minta maaf ya buat yang pernah ngetag-ngetag dan gue ga ngerjain. aduuh maaf banget loh! maklum.. suka ada faktor pikun n sok sibuk gitu. haha.

Sama maaf juga buat yang ngasih award tapi ga gue lanjutin, jadi cuma langsung aja gitu dipajang di awardooo section. hihi, suka gatau diri gitu sih gue. udah dikasih award bukannya dipost malah langsung aja dipajang, cuma meninggalkan secumet (?) jejak di Cbox mereka yang berbaik hati ngasih gue award itu!

hahauauahaha.

maaf yaaaaaaaaa... 

love you all folks! 

P.S. gue lagi ga produktif akhir-akhir ini. aduuhh gimana yah. blog gue makin ga menarik aja nih kayaknya kayak kata si irfan. uhuhu. T___T

P.P.S The awards is for everyone who follows my blog! yes, you are very welcome folks! ;D

Love For A Child

Love For A Child - Jason Mraz

**

Currently my fav song. :)

Love For A Child - Jason Mraz

There's a picture on my kitchen wall
Looks like Jesus and his friends involved
There's a party getting started in the yard
There's a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive
Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently
The chemicals weren't mixed properly
You hit your head and then forgot your name
And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain
And now your altitude and memory's a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles
Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass
Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around
Well I'm far too old to care about that now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd like to believe it was all about love for a child

It's kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce
I've been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes
And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age
And they never check to see my grades
What a fool I'd be to start complaining now

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I'd love to believe it's all about love for a child

It was all about love...

*

well. it's sweet, uh? ;)

Passion

picture source

.

Passion, based on Encarta Dictionaries, means a strong liking or enthusiasm for a subject or activity.

Passion, for me myself, is basically started from love at first sight. If you had done something interested, and you feel that you had just fallin in love with it—that you want to do it more frequently, you must be just found your own passion!

Me myself, if someone asks me what my passion is, I would exactly answer firmly, “Chemistry.”

Yep. Chemistry is my life. My love at first sight. My PASSION. ;D

Anyway, still talking about passion, it is okay if you hate your passion someday ahead. I personally ever hate the chemistry thingy itself. Such like I wanna get rid of those things, wanna stop playing around with chemistry and just learn another subject but not chemistry! Yeah, I really ever felt that way.

But hey! It’s very normal, peeps! You don’t have to love your passion every times! You are simply a normal person, aren’t you? :D 

You need to be relaxed from all the stressing things, you need to stop focusing on your passion, and you need to be searching around for your other passion. :)

So, it is okay if someday later you used to be a hater of your own passion, because no matter what, you’ll get back to it sooner or later. Likewise a little daughter who felt terribly mad with her mom, and planned to go runaway, no matter what the obstacles strike, that little daughter would exactly come back home. Because she needed her mom.

Just like us. We need our passion. To fulfill our life; our comfort zone. 

Are you with me? *tee-hee* ;D

Well, all in all, what is your own passion, folks? 

Share me! :)

talking about passion is currently inspired by an article in Gogirl! Magz. ;P

17.5.09

well, I think I should buy some books by now. :)

picture from here

A cup of inspiration, please?

I am suffering from ideas. Suffering from great thoughts.

I'm being nonsense. Being a feeble-minded creature. Tiny. Vulnerable. Empty.

Well, a cup of inspiration, please, anyone? *sigh*

Betty

O-kay. Let me see. I love her black ribbon, I love her  curly brownie hair, I love her blue blazer, I love her Etam top, I love her Ballerina Pump, I love her bronze tights, I love her white flats!

That's all great! I love her sense of style! 

Love you Betty! xD

Oh and the other Betty as well.. She's also gorgeous!

how does she look? nerd? uh-huh. out glasses, out sweater, out top, out braces, out initial necklace! Everything's OUT!!!

and... here is the transformation!! (drumroll effect!)

 

Tadaaa... Betty with Gorgeous Blue Dress!!!! WOW!

Yep. She's America Ferrera in Ugly Betty. (everybody knows her already, uh?)

And oh my goodness! Isn't she just awesome? xD

Yeah. Yeah. I love all Betty above! How about ya? :D

Fotokopian Sejarah SEMUT BANGET DEH AH!!

Hari ini hari Selasa. Oke, Selasa. Dan hari ini gue bodoh banget.

Dimulai dengan munculnya ulangan mandarin dadakan!! Buku kotak-kotak dikumpulin pula! udah ga ada amunisi buat nyontek!

Sedangkan udah 2 minggu gue libur. Demi Tuhan! Siapa juga sih yang bakal inget buat belajar Mandarin pas liburan?! Fisika-matematika sih oke aja!

So, tadi gue BLANK. Putih polos dah isi otak gue. Jawab seadanya aja sambil diskusi sama ochan plus lirik-lirik ke irfan.

Dan di 10 menit terakhir, akhirnya gue ngarang bebas. Sebebas-bebasnya. Dan sayangnya, keajaiban gue lagi di posisi off waktu itu.... jawaban gue yang hasil ngarang pun salah semua. (yang hasil lirik-lirik sih bener! xp ). semut!!!! (itu maksudnya umpatan. Daripada gue ngomong kata2 kasar kayak guk-guk, oink-oink, ato kuning-bau, mending gue ngomong "semut!!" deh. aman...)

Nah ya Ochan ya, kali ini mandarin gue ga akan CEPEK kayak biasanya. udah gue perhitungkan kok oom... Sekitar 60-85. Kalo gue dapet cepek lo boleh deh jorogin gue dari lante 2.

Well, oke, itu kebodohan yang pertama. Yang kedua...

Jadi hari ini hari Selasa. Oke, Selasa. Dan besok adalah hari Rabu. Rabu=Sejarah. Sejarah=Ulangan. Ulangan=mati. Mati=neraka. Gue belom mau masuk neraka men!
Eh, salah. gue GAK mau masuk neraka men! enak aja lo belom. emangnya bakal apa?! miiiit amit!

Oh ya. jadi ceritanya besok kan ulangan tuh ya. Nah, di buku gue tuh kurang lengkap. yang lengkap tuh bukunya wijang--buku kk kelas.
jadilah anak2 semua pada motokopi dari buku wijang. BANZAI! KONNICHIWA! semua masalah pun terpecahkan!! gue menangis terharu.

Tapi tidak, kawan, ini bukan sebuah cerita happy ending. Happy ending itu cengeng. Sad ending itu keren! (sejak kapan coba?!)

Jadi, setelah motokopi satu bab penuh tentang kerajaan-kerajaan ga penting itu, gue pun dikasih bill-nya sama si fertin . 8000 men! SEMUT AH!!!!!

Oke, jadi uang 5000 pun berpindah tangan. (iya, gue ngutang 3000! muahauauahauah!)

Lantas gue pun pulang seperti biasa. jam setengah 3. nyampe rumah gue tidur. masih seragaman.
Jam 5 gue bangun dengan damai. Nyokap dan adek gue dengan suksesnya lagi makan somay favorit gue. Dan muncullah bad feeling itu. Ya, bad feeling.

Gue nginget2, kira2 apa yang bakal jadi malapetaka bagi gue! Dan gue pun inget frase Rabu=Sejarah. Sejarah=Ulangan. Ulangan=mati. Mati=neraka. (eh itu bukan frase! apapun deh!). hmm... pikiran gue melayang ke fotokopian hasil ngutang.
otak gue berdebat dengan sengit.

Cerebrum: bentar. kayaknya ada yang salah dengan tu fotokopian. tapi gue gatau apa.
Cerebelum: kenapa ga lo cek aja tuh fotokopian ada di tas lo apa ga?
Cerebrum: oh iye! pinter juga lo kecil-kecil!
(dan gue pun ngecek ke tas gue).
Cerebelum: kenapa men?! kok lo kayak sibuk gitu sih ngatur kelenjar adrenalin sama pengeluaran keringet?!
Cerebrum: eh bego! tuh fotokopian ga ada di tas majikan gue!
Cerebelum: lah terus salah siapa?! siapa coba yang bego?! tugas gue mah bukan kayak gituan!
Cerebrum: iye juga sih. sialan lo kecil-kecil ngengkeng!

Oh iya gue tau itu ga penting.
anyway, iya itu bener kalo fotokopian gue ketinggalan. itulah mengapa gue dapet bad feeling tiba2 tadi.

Dan gue, karena gue baru bangun dan masih ga bisa mikir dengan jernih, malah nangis. bodoh kuadrat!

gue mikir... itu fotokopian masih ngutang ketinggalan pula! gimana gue belajarnya dong?!!

Akhirnya gue nelpon ochan.

"Chan, sjdhsakfygwvyfjkwabcarcvlsr!"
"Apa put?"
"saidjxlievhsvdskfhsvkfvusvuslurvhwouvwqr!!!"
"Ya ampun lo ni ada2 aja sih put."
"saDiwaldhwqlduchlsadhvlsuaerlgoewrv!!!"
"gue juga gatau geh. coba ke etin aja, fotokopi ulang."
"alweicvalsdihvlwvlejhvjleqjleiwqlruilqwrjwqndsa!!!!!"
"hehehe iya sih sayang ya duitnya!"
"sadkckargvbjbgvjrenvlsakr;vsk;.rwlrnv;ewr"
"Ya udah coba ke sekolah aja sana. sapa tau masih dibuka."
"sdkfnlsaifvblwnvlwicrlorwaihrvglervbe"

tut tut tut.

*kesalahan bukan pada layar monitor anda. tapi pada IQ si penulis.

Dan jadilah gue mewek tersedu-sedu di kamar.

Terus gue mandi abis puas nangis...

Dan gue pun bikin ini.

GAK BAWA PULANG FOTOKOPIAN!

Sisi positif:
1. Ga usah baca dari tu fotokopian yang banyaknya dua kali lipat dari yang di buku.
2. Ga usah pusing baca hasil fotokopian yang najis amit-amit butut banget deh ah ga jelas hasilnya!
3. Tas lo jadi ga berat karena bawa tu fotokopian! (agak nonsense sih emang, tapi bener kok, tu fotokopian lumayan berat, 70an halaman.)
4. Demi Tuhan. Siapa juga yang mau belajar sejarah?! you are a science person mamen! Social lo cuma 45%! Mendingan belajar fisika ato kimia deh buat ulangan hari kamis!
5. Besok pagi lo bisa bakar tu kertas fotokopian kalo lo mau. karang alasan ke fertin biar ga usah bayar 3000. muaaaahahahahhaha!!!

Sisi negatif:
1. Lo ga bisa belajar dari sumber yang--katanya--lengkap.
2. 5000 lo wasting banget! padahal lumayan bisa beli POCKY!
3. Besok lo harus duduk deket Heru apapun yang terjadi (buat nyontek dari dia yang OB--open book), dan otomatis dignity lo jatoh karena jadi parasit ke dia.
4. Malem ini lo harus berdoa mati-matian semoga besok ga jadi ulangan sejarah! (gue ga ngerti juga sih kenapa ini jadi sisi negatif. karena kalopun gue bawa fotokopiannya juga gue tetep bakalan berdoa biar besok gajadi ulangan!)

Kesimpulan: SISI POSITIF YANG MENANG! MUAAAAAHAUAUAHAUAHAUA!

MUAHAAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

ha-ha-ha.

*nangis*

50, 4 (tags)

This is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS... Type what comes to your mind FIRST whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it! Re-post it for all of your friends.

1. Beer: Sake
2. Food: Ebi Furai!
3. Relationship: Split up
4. Crush: 9th grade
5. Power Rangers: Ochan!
6. Life: unfair?
7. The President: Obama
8. Yummy: delicious
9. Car: Lamborghini
10. Movie: Theatre
11. Halloween: Trick or treat!
12. Sex: What?
13. Religion: Moslem
14. Hate: Not good
15. Fear: Snail
16. Marriage: Bride-groom
17. Blondes: Hair
18. Slippers: Shoes
19. Shoes: Sneakers
20. Asians: Chinese
21. Pastime: Movies
22. One night stand: Uh. what?!
23. My cell phone: my hero!
24. Smoke: cigarette
25. Fantasy: spongebob
27. High school Life: sucks!
28. Pyjamas: baby doll!
29. Stars: vega
30. Center: spot light?
31. Alcohol: beer
32. The word LOVE: irritating!
33. Friends: miss them..
34. Money: Mr. Krabs!!
35. Heartache: rude words!
36. Time: Clock
37. Divorce: Hate them who did
38. Dogs: drool! and hate it.
39. Undies: bra? ;p
40. Parents: momdad
41. Babies: cute!
42. Ex: Uji
43. Song: Taylor Swift
44. Color: Green?
45. Weddings: beautiful atmosphere, white gown, black tuxedo.
46. Pizza:  Toppings
47. Hangout: Mall
48. Rest: Grave
49. Goal: Chelsea
50. Inspiration:  My mom!

lol. what is the point anyway? Am I so random? ;D

and this one I got from kak Nindya.

Click if you want to. :)

FOUR NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:
Putri (of course), Iput, Siiput, Adek

FOUR MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN YOUR LIFE:
25 January (My birthday), 22 May (jadian! hehe), 12 May (his birthday), 5 May 2008 (UAN SMP!)

FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 30 MINUTES:
ate pocky, surfed the net, blogged, did this tag.

FOUR WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
putting smiles on everyone's face, money (okay, dont be too hypocrite, everyone needs money!), good friends, good family.

FOUR PEOPLE YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
Efri Krishna Dwitama (my very bestie!), kindergarten friends (one of them ever kissed me in cheek! aw!), puput (you're suck, evil, provocator, but i miss you. :)), Pak Asep (the best math teacher i've ever got!).

FOUR GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE :
iPod nano chromatic, macbook air, slr camera, and 50 packs of Pocky!

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES (CURRENTLY):
idk.

FOUR PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR VACATION:
Lombok, Alaska, Paris, London.

FOUR FAVORITE DRINKS:
Strawberry juice, hot chocolate, honey tea, chocolate milk!

FOUR THINGS ALWAYS FOUND IN YOUR BAG:
Cellphone, money, book, comb.

FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
White, Blue sky, Yellow, and... green. :)

TOP FOUR HANGOUTS:
School (lol), friend's house, mall, cafe.

TOP FOUR U LOVE SO MUCH:
uhmm.. Mom, Daddy, My little brother, Ochan (my big bro). (no, no my ex anymore)

TOP FOUR ASIAN ACTORS
euh.. I dont really like asian drama. :P

FOUR "THINGS" SPECIAL TO YOU:
Pocky (lol), my beloved family, loyal friends, and... my PC!

FOUR FAVOURITE "UNUSUAL" SONGS:
well, unusual is relative! :)

FOUR EVENTS YOU WILL NEVER FORGET:
the moment when i knew i've got into accel class, my 15th birthday, when 9f (my class on JHS) went to Bandung for study trip and we're all sleep in one whole hotel together (one whole hotel for all of us! imagine!), and... the day when 9f reunited on uri's house--FOV (you know, i talked all night with my ex. that's just awesome!) :D

FOUR THINGS YOU OFTEN DID WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
cried (i'm a crybaby ass--my mommy told that :P), played, travelled, shopped! (believe it or not, i shopped more often when i was a kid!)

TOP FOUR WHO YOU WANT TO ANSWER THIS SURVEY:
Rere, Indi, Riris, Citra :)

TOP FOUR REASONS WHY YOU ANSWERED THIS SURVEY:

well. nothing to do, bored, bored, and... nothing to do! lol.

So, you see. I'm brainstorming. Do not have anything to write, so here goes the taggy thingy. lol.

See ya on my next post! :D

p.s. thanks for all who had tryna cheer me up on comment box. oh my.. you guys so rock! love yooouuu.. x)

Torn Into Pieces

Well, I just thought that I will off of this blogging thingy, but then I thought again... hey! why should I off?!

lol. Stupidity.

Anyways, I just found a very beautiful quote from Breaking Dawn. And well, it makes me melting...

Edward: "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

Yeah. Edward Cullen. And also, Muhammad Fauzi—my ex—ever said the same thing just like Edward did.

That was a great night, for sure. He made me slept in peace. Terribly comfy. Till it felt like I just don't wanna wake up anymore. He sang a beautiful lullaby for me all night long. Only for me.

Well, great, uh? So contrast with my condition nowadays. Yep. You're right! Nightmares every night!

lol.

*

Well then, goes for another Quote:

"Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?" — Edward Cullen

and if my ex is the one who asks this, I'd love to answer, "Yes, certainly. You really made me suffer."

lol. I'm torn into pieces!

(look at how pathetic my face is!)

..

Fin

Last night. Is the worst night of my life.

All the problems started when I tried to scold on him. Rude and discourteous. And for the first time of our relationship, he scolded me back. I was shocked.

Hence we fought. Immensely.

Till at last I asked him. “Kamu mau aku yang putusin atau kita ngomong putus bareng?”

I barely even think before I said that sacred word. Putus. 

So he answered me, curtly, “Silahkan.” One word. One sword. 

I was deadly hurt. No—I am deadly hurt.

And so we’re split up. End it all up. 

Fin.

At first I couldn’t believe it. I shrugged, “This must be a joke!”, so I called him. 
“Tadi beneran ya?”

“Yaaaa….” –he tried to give me his sweetest tone, but more sounded like a teaser tone. Not even tempting me.

We’re both quite. 

“Euh… Okay then. Bye.” –I said.

I gazed on my phone. “So this is real.”—I murmured.

You know what? It’s like I was petrified that time. Stupefied for about a whole minute.

Then I realize something, whispered to myself, “Why can’t I cry?”

I know what the answer is…

The wound is too deep. You know, if you are falling from a bicycle, then your knee hit a big rock, and so the blood is gushing from your opened skin, you will feel like you’re not there. Somewhere outside your real body. You are being another people who seeing a boy with the wounded knee. Whereas the boy is you yourself.

So was I that time.

I was being insensible. Too hurt to be felt.

My chest was like tightened by a studded belt.
“I need some air.”—I begged. It was really hard to breathe.

After few seconds I did not breathe, nor winked (it’s true, I’m not lying), I took my cell phone from the desk, and also the headphone. I thought, “Maybe hear some song would relax me off.”
Therefore I brought my senseless finger to Mp3 menu. Played it. 

Secondhand Serenade—Your Call

Lady Gaga—Poker Face

Bon Jovi—Lost Highway

…

I listened gently. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Put. This is not as bad as you might think.”—I kept convincing myself.

I started smiling. 

Till the Random Shuffle setting of my phone brought me to a song. A song which would break my entire defense.

Taylor Swift—Breathe
(I enjoyed the guitar played..)

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.

“Oh my God! This is so true!”—I yelled on my heart.
Yeah, I never even thought it’s gonna end this way.

People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.

Dude, don’t you know I changed my mind now?! Oh my God! What in Earth I was thinking of that time!!! 

But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time.

Oh my God! It couldn’t be worse! This is deadly true!

Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm

Music starts playin’ like the end of a sad movie,
It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see.

I don’t wanna see ending like this. I really don’t want to. (I started crying).

Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down,
Now I don’t know what to be without you around.

I don’t know. I don’t have any idea what I would be after you left me this way!!!!

And we know it’s never simple,
Never easy.

Never, dude, you thought it’s easy for me, but it’s NOT!

Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

Not a clean break. So not. And yeah, who will save me now? Nobody!

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

…….

And I can’t,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

I can’t breathe without you. Sounds so drama queen, but it’s scarily true, my friend. I forgot how to breathe.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.

I don’t wanna see you hurt. But this mouth destroys everything! You wouldn’t even forgive me, would you?

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.

I always want to protect you.

But people are people,
And sometimes it doesn’t work out,

Yeah. I’m just an ordinary people. Just like you. Sometimes things didn’t work like I wanted it to.

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

I sobbed.

And we know it’s never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

And I can’t,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

I sobbed.

It’s two a.m.

It’s 11 p.m.

Feelin' like I just lost a friend.

I really lost a friend. A best friend.

Hope you know it’s not easy,

I really hope you know.

Easy for me.

Never easy for me.

It’s two a.m.
Feelin’ like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain’t easy,
Easy for me.

I sobbed louder.

And we know it’s never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

No one lays on my side now. No one.

Ohhh

Aaarrghhh!!

I can’t,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

I HAVE TO BREATHE!

Sorry (oh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry (eh eh) Sorry (mmm)
Sorry....

I really do sorry…….

Five Places I'd Like to Visit the Most; Holiday!!!

Hey, have I told you that I got long long holiday from now on till Thursday? Have I? No? I haven’t tell you any? Oh really?! Sorry… just realize today actually! xD

You know, I woke up on—err, let me see—8 o’clock I think, then I used to spontaneously screamed to my Mom. “Moooooooommyyyy… Why don’t you wake me up? I’m gonna be late for school!!!!!”

Then my Mom, who is a very unruffled person, entered my room and said, “Honey this is holiday, for God’s sake! Don’t be that noise! I am reading a book!”

…

It needs about 5 seconds to wake me really up. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… “Oh damn! *lol* I forgot Mom! Sorrryyyyyy…” –spoiled tone.

“Yeah, yeah.” So there she went out of my room. :p

**

LOL! I know I know… I am terribly stupid, uh?

And by the way, yeah, I got a long holiday, peeps! 5 days! And yep, for the Final School Exam, or in Indonesian we could say, UAS (Ujian Akhir Sekolah).

Yippe ki-yay Mamashita! I looooove holiday! Good luck for you guys who accomplish the UAS! ;D

*

Anyway, do you know what? I have prepared all stuffs to make me enjoy my holiday, for sure!

And the stuffs are…

A pack of Van Houtten Chocolate Powder, some pack of Choco-banana Pocky, my faaaavourite snack ever, and of courseeeee… some books to read! Ay ay! Comics, novels, even Chicken soups, all ready to reserved! Lol!

Here are the pics.. :D

(pocky, two stacks of books, and of course... hot chocolate!)

And by the way, one of my sweet friends in blogger had recently tagged me. Thanks, Susku… Wow, that’s very kind of you!

Here’s I play with the tag. :)

5 places you'd like to visit most!

First of all, certainly…

1. PARIS!

Wow, I already fallin for Eiffel since I was 5!

I saw it on a TV show and I spontaneously wheezed…

“Oh Mommy… What is that? What a beautiful tower ever!”
“That’s Eiffel, honey.”
“What is Eiffel?”
“That is a very tall tower, made by a person named Eiffel long times ago.”
“Where could I find it?” –I keep asking without shift my eyes from the TV screen,
“It is in Paris.”–my mom whispered.
(Oh my dear God! I could remember the entire scene we made that time!)
“Paris? Where is it?”
“In France, dear. A faraway country out there. You could not go there with car. You have to use airplane.”—she smiled,
“Can we go there now?”
“No my dear, you need a lot of money to go there.”
“But I really want to, Mom! Will we go? I beg you, for once in my life! Will we go there? Someday, please?”—miserable look mode: on! Lol.
“Someday? Hmm.. yeah, maybe someday we will go there.”—she smiled again, caressed my back smoothly. Then all the gaiety seemed had back to me that time! :D

P.S. Of course I translate it to English. Remember? I’m a pure-blood Indonesian. :)

And guys, have I told you that I’m not the haves? So, yeah, someday is really "someday".

Someday means, the day when I could make my own money with my own effort, when I had succeed, and of course, when I could make my parents proud of me. :)

Paris itself… hmm, all there are great! Don’t tryna’ ask me more!

2. Japan

A country where there was lived samurais. Where there was all pink when spring came—yep, Sakura. Where all the people are so polite yet intelligent at once. Where we could dress-up as nuts as we want to! And where men talked so loud on dinner table! Where the gals seem so cool! Where girls wear kimono at some occasions. Where all the food is just deadly delicious! And where… oh my God! I just love JAPAN!!!

3. Amsterdam, Netherlands.

Petite buildings, warm air, windmills, and Tulips everywhere we gaze … For God’ sake! I’m just dying for the place!

4. Sydney

As we know, Sydney’s Port Jackson harbor boasts two of Australia’s most recognizable landmarks: the Sydney Harbour Bridge, once the longest single-arch bridge in the world, and the Sydney Opera House of course, Gold Stone.
Yeah, I really want to enter Gold Stone for once in my life! :D

5. London, UK

A city where Harry Potter is made, a city where Big Ben laid down, a city where some quoted: “The parks are the lungs of London.” –HOW SWEET!, and also, where Lady Diana, Princess of Wales, ever lived in (yeah, in Norfolk, I know), so do Prince Charles, Prince Harry, and Prince William. :)

Okay, so that’s it. 5 places I’d like to visit the most! :D

I pass this to everyone in “Awesome People Around” on the next sidebar!

Happy tagging, peeps!

CHEERIOOOO!! :D

I Tied My Dream here...

1. Harvard University

..

(i don't really know this angle is taken from what side, but one I really know, the architecture of this building is so old, vintage, and damn cool!)

(This's Harvard's cafeteria! For God's sake! This is... damn! greatest place of all!)

..

.

2. Oxford University

Oh.My.Dear.God!

There's no other word but PERFECT!

Top ten university of the world, for sure!

x)

..

3. Nanyang Technological University

,,

(The people who made this building, I.am.dying.for.ya!)

.

(outside look)

.

(Nanyang Poly Auditorium Hall. Okay. I am... drooling....)

,,

(Nanyang when The Sun had gone. Miraculous!!)

..

4. University of Indonesia

yeah, try to be realistic. I am an Indonesian. I don't have any passport yet, and I'm not come from the wealthy ones. So, here goes! Be realistic!

:D

..

But nevertheless, I keep trying to preserve my dreams here in my heart, and try to realize it with my own efforts. You may see, someday... I will really into those 3 colleges above! This.is.a.promise! :)

..

Well, so that's it. I gotta go to school now.

See ya peeps! ;D